are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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