I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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