Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
