So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
