First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
