I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
