It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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