I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize
