I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize