oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
