Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
meet me or not, i'm out of control
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
