Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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