Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I am one with the molecules
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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