my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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