did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
