3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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