Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
