so that wasnt chicken after all
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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