She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
