Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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