I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
