You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize