your room smells of hookers.
And success
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Randomize
