and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
