loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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