It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize