Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I understand Curling. That high.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
