I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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