So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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