Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
