two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
