I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize