We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
