so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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