I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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