how hairy? two words: wookie tits
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
