Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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