Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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