Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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