vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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