It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
