He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
