Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
birth control should be required to get into college
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
