She went from zero to smokin in five shots
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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