I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize