You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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