Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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