his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
