I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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