I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
