Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
