Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
