so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
